It’s the attitude that you bring to your marriage, with the accompanying expressed intention of curiosity that helps to keep a relationship healthy. 

 

Besides kindness and generosity toward your partner—both important attitudes to bring to your relationship—the following three intentions help to keep a relationship robust. 

 

Stay interested in learning about yourself and your partner, especially how you listen and talk to each other. Although most of us prefer to put potential and real conflict to the side, we need to lean into adversity and challenges. We don’t live without conflict and disagreements, especially in our marriages and with our families. We need to develop our competency in listening and responding—when it’s hard. We need to be committed to conflict resolution.

Couples succeed when they share leadership and collaborate. It’s hard to let go of our power and share it—for the benefit of “the team”.